Yay! Today marks the day of Zombie Jesus, the day that Jesus rose from the dead to atone for the sins of the world. The resurrection of Jesus is key to the Christian faith, if it didn’t happen then there was no atonement, and Jesus wouldn’t have been God in flesh. How do we know that the resurrection really happened? Well, we don’t, it’s one of those things that need to be taken on faith. Faith, belief in things without evidence, or things for which there is evidence against. No thanks.
Don’t forget that this also marks the Hebrew holiday of Passover, which marks the time that God decided to kill all of the first-born children in Egypt. That is unless you killed a lamb and spread it’s blood on your door post, as the Hebrew slaves had done, in which case the spirit of the Lord passed over that home and didn’t murder children.
God is good? God seems to be pretty focused on killing people that don’t obey his word to the letter of the law, sometimes on the pain of death. What is it that is supposed to be appleaing about these religions?
We’ve recently been introduced to Derek Chatwood, having accidentally appropriated his artwork for a Topic Agnostic story on creationism. That’s how authentic his vintage-style comic book artwork is; it appears to be an honest-to-god hilariously Jesus-loving kid’s colouring book.
It’s been pilfered into the big time of street art as well - check out what looks like a back alley wheatpaste in Bellingham, WA, of the iconic ‘Jesus Riding a Dinosaur’ image. In the vein of Shep Fairey, this image stands on its own even without the context from which it came, but the impossible creationist juxtaposition communicates & provokes more thought than a baleful Andre.
Baker said she doesn’t want to make a big deal out of the image or turn her house into a shrine.
Thank God for that!
She first noticed the Jesus image in her floor tiles around Christmastime. Hmm, perhaps she already had Christ on her mind, which pre-disposed her being more likely to see the Messiah in laminate.
She believes the depiction is meant to be inspirational and said this is the time of year for religious reflection.
She doesn’t go as far as to say that it was a miracle, or anything supernatural that caused it, but perhaps it was just guided by Jesus, sort of like Intelligent Design.
May I take a moment to again talk about the phenomenon known as pareidolia.
The term pareidolia describes a psychological phenomenon involving a vague and random stimulus (often an image or sound) being perceived as significant. Common examples include seeing images of animals or faces in clouds, the man in the moon, and hearing hidden messages on records played in reverse.
Bingo. Not supernatural, not a miracle, and not a message from Jesus. It is in your brain, a brain trying to make sense of the world. A Christian might see Jesus, an ancient Greek might see Zeus.
Cristo Rendentor, the bloody big Jesus towering over Rio de Janeiro, may not be the Top God in Brazil for much longer. Sertaozinho, a town northwest of Sao Paulo city, is planning a way bigger Jesus (pedestal included) for Easter launch. About 681,000 God-glorifying dollars will be diverted from poverty, homelessness and other human travails in order to show the Lord who loves him most.
Giant Jesuses and huge crosses have popped up all over lately.
Munro, Ohio’s massive, wet Lord [image by Joe Orman]:
So you can see this is a common problem, the need to show God how big your religion is. I suspect he doesn’t give a damn about idol size and would prefer you to focus your funds upon the least of those, your bretheren.
The 5 biggest lies about Christianity, exposed for the total unfairness that they are:
And the inimitable Sonseed, making it pretty darn clear what the best thing about Christianity is: hanging out with Jesus when the rest of the world is laughing at you. Sonseed (eww) brought to Topic Agnostic’s attention by Vancouver musician Sarah Sangster.
Jesus didn’t end up officially throwing his hat in the presidential ring, but the votes have been tallied and he did get 23 write-in votes! ‘God’ also received multiple recommendations for the top post, though through the power of the holy trinity you automatically get a Herbert Walker/Dubya duality kind of thing going on if either of them were to be elected.
Jesus got more votes than Tiger Woods, Tommy Chong, and Homer Simpson put together. I think had more people known Tommy Chong was an option, he might have given the Good Lord more of a run for his money.
That reminds me of a quote by George Bush the First I recently encountered. Check out this snippet of an interview with Robert I. Sherman at an O’Hare Int’l Airport press conference on August 27, 1987:
Sherman: What will you do to win the votes of the Americans who are atheists?
Bush: I guess I’m pretty weak in the atheist community. Faith in god is important to me.
Sherman: Surely you recognize the equal citizenship and patriotism of Americans who are atheists?
Bush: No, I don’t know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.
Sherman (somewhat taken aback): Do you support as a sound constitutional principle the separation of state and church?
Bush: Yes, I support the separation of church and state. I’m just not very high on atheists.
I was just going to say “Happy Friday“, play you a cartoon and get the hell out of here. But I’m watching Jesus dining with the Griffins and Lois’ boobs pop out ALL over the screen. Sorry for the spoiler, and I think it’s sweet that Peter still likes his wife’s boobs, but wtf? Did this run on American television?*
*American tv, for those who aren’t exposed to it, is fraught with fundamentalist Christian dread of reproductive organs and vigilance against sight of their associated bodily regions.
A team of scientists recently announced that they have found a bowl, dating to between the late 2nd century B.C. and the early 1st century A.D., that is engraved with what they believe could be the world’s first known reference to Christ.
The full engraving on the bowl reads, “DIA CHRSTOU O GOISTAIS,” which has been interpreted by the excavation team to mean either, “by Christ the magician” or, “the magician by Christ.”
In a way it makes sense. Let’s suppose that the Biblical account is somewhat true, that Jesus really did appear to turn water to wine, or really did appear to walk on water. Can it be done today? Of course! Magicians have been imitating and duplicating the illusions of Jesus for many years. I suppose this ancient cup may just confirm it; Jesus was a hell of a magician.
I say it’s time for a show down. Let’s see Jesus walk on water without the misdirection of a storm, in front of a live studio audence and video taped for all to see. Criss Angel did it, Scottish magicians Barry and Stuart did it, will Jesus accept the challange? Will he sign over the Pay-Per-View rights to the Catholic church?
What if the Good Lord had to take on McCain and Obama?
This video is by Edward Current, who seems to make a hobby of producing atheist video, and was first spotted on the Atheist News Blog, a collection of news coverage of an (ir)religious nature.
Know how Jesus visited the Americas after he died and did the Mormon thing?Well before that, when he was 21, Jesus went off to find himself in Japan. He really dug it, and stayed for the next decade. Finding, you know, himself, he returns to Judea to find things a lee-tle too hostile, and decides to dodge crucifixion by substituting his little brother Jsus Chri (stay with me). Escaping back to Japan, he marries a cute chick named Miyu and lives to 104-118 ripe old years.
Wow, eh? Paradigms! This is what the town of Shingo claims happened, and in true Lourdesian fashion is the premise on which it bilks the touristing public.
Entangled in an elaborate Da Vinci Codesque conspiracy theory, this Japanese town displays two graves under the auspices of belonging to Jesus and Jsus (not affiliated with streetwear Gsus). The town claims the local Sawaguchi family, who look “Western” (or “Japanese”, depending if you look at the picture or not) are the direct descendants of Jesus. Shingo has all kinds of Jewish language traditions and rituals and outfits that totally prove Jesus dropped by there 2000 years ago and influenced the heck out of everybody.
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