10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most “tolerant” and “loving.”
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
A news season of Mr. Diety started recently and I wasn’t even aware until a few days ago! One of the best web video series ever. In this episode, Mr. Diety and Lucy (who is reading “The God Delusion”) talk about Magical Thinking.
For all you non-god-fearing fans of Mr. Current, a recent video on what really happens when you go to the big social network in the sky. The end is, in a word, dead on.
Ooh, this looks good! Filming this month, Year One is the epic quest of two hunter-gatherers (Jack Black and Micheal Cera, as ‘Oh’ and ‘Zed’) in Biblical times, looking for the meaning of life. Directed by comedy legend Harold Ramis, it’s going to be a Life Of Brian-esque tale inspired by improv Ramis did with Belushi as a Neanderthal and Bill Murray as a Cro-Magnon. Damn!
Expect delicious religious satire, with David Cross as Cain! I’m not a huge Jack Black fan, but I predict this will be an epiphanic role in which Black discovers his life-long niche, as Keanu did when he graduated from Ted to Neo.
Whether it’s a grumpy atheist or a gullible Christian who’s stocking you need to stuff, we’re hear to help! You’ll find it doesn’t matter whether your giftee is atheist or xian, the same gifts will work. They’re just appreciated on different levels.
1. Sexual Skills for the Christian Husband
If Timothy 2:22’s admonishment to flee youthful lusts is cramping your style, heat up your holy union with this saucy cookbook of love! 100% refund if not completely satisfied, thankfully with no quesitons asked.
You’re going to Hell, obviously. WIth a range including the Diving Nun, Judas, the not-so-Virgin Mary, and Jackhammer Jesus, Divine Interventions hand crafts each of these sacrilicious silicon beauties for your pious pleasure. There is a Buddha model for those of an enlightened mindset.
The 5 biggest lies about Christianity, exposed for the total unfairness that they are:
And the inimitable Sonseed, making it pretty darn clear what the best thing about Christianity is: hanging out with Jesus when the rest of the world is laughing at you. Sonseed (eww) brought to Topic Agnostic’s attention by Vancouver musician Sarah Sangster.
The Sudanese, after 25 years of Muslim beverage oppression, are finally getting a brewery and a golden river of delicious beer. Here’s a refreshing glass to the Sudanese!
This Feb marks the 50th anniversary of a bizarre “cargo cult” in remote Vanuatu, wherein the message of Jesus-smitten missionaries was rejected in favour of American GI worship. John Frum (as in “I’m John, from America”) is literally the islanders messiah, and will hopefully be coming back soon to liberate the South Pacific from fine weather and tangy tropical fruits.
The British Royal Mint is issuing a £2 coin commemorating Charles Darwin’s accomplishments. In science we trust. Eat it, Tony Blair!
And an incisive analysis from Unreasonable Faith on the striking similarities betwixt God and Santa Claus. Santa ultimately has more positive evidence for his existence that the Good Lord, and is more reasonable in terms of fairness and overall punishment structure.
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