Evidently Jesus doesn’t have a Blackberry
Today I encountered a religious magic 8 ball with intriguing theological possibilities. Just Ask Jesus promises, by way of a simple online form, to deliver your burning questions to the Good Shepherd himself. What an opportunity! And convenient to boot! Impressed with JC’s interest in computer-mediated interaction, my head whirled with the potential questions I could pose. Maybe he’d agree to be interviewed for Topic Agnostic’s unfaithful faithful!
Investigating the “about us” link to see if God was in fact behind this website, I discovered none of the navigation on the site works in Firefox. Mysterious ways! With great trepidation, I sent Jesus my question:
If you’re real, Jesus, why don’t you appear to me and let me know? In a way I can understand and be sure of?
I typed carefully, respectfully, a tingling sensation in my wrists, knowing I may in fact be about to ping the mailserver of the biggest of cheeses. I figured this question, though maybe already in God’s FAQ, was a great opener that might even result in a taco manifestation, if I was lucky. Coincidence that I had Mexican on the stove for supper? We’ll see!
I supplied my most spam-collecting Gmail address. I dutifully clicked the ‘confirm email’ link, and the website thanked me personally! By my fake first name! I had unchecked ‘remember me on this computer’, yet I couldn’t return to the home page without my name and question attached. God appeared to know exactly who I was, and what I wanted to know!
I refreshed my Gmail inbox repeatedly, awaiting an otherworldly answer to my query. Nothing appeared. Was the question too pedantic? Was Jesus annoyed that I really asked him two questions? I started to feel pretty rejected.
Jesus’ welcome email promised a prompt response,but so far the Lord hasn’t emailed me back. I guess he’s busy. Or perhaps “promptly” means different things when you’re infinite.
Update: the conversation continues!
Hello Tara,
Many people believe they see Jesus all the time. You might ask, are the Mother Mary sightings people are seeing throughout the country and the items like corn flakes and dorititos that appear to be in the shape of holy figures that are listed on Ebay for real?
Our lord works in mysterious ways. We don’t understand all the reasons why he does certain things. He does however give us signs all the time that show he is watching over us. He is with us throughout our days and evenings. We can not attempt to identify and provide accrediability to each and every one of the sigtings over the last few years, but we can say that our belief is that many of these signtings could and quite possibly are for real.
We should be looking for signs everyday from above. Some people see signs in their food, some people see signs in water puddles, but if we learn to keep our eyes open, we will all see signs all around us!
My suggestion to you, would be to keep your eyes and heart open for signs. They are all around us!
Have you ever thought maybe you have seen a sign?
God Bless,
Posted by Jesus on September 8th, 2008 7:15 amJustAskJesus.com
Welcome Jesus. Check out Reason’s response to your answer: http://topicagnostic.com/2008/09/07/988/
I think if somebody wants to see a sign of Jesus, a dead family member, a witch, or some other supernatural entity they will see it. A simple gust of wind or cloud in the sky could serve as a sign for all of the above depending on what the observer wants to see. It’s how the human mind works. We’re all very good seeing patterns and inferring meaning but we’re absolutely awful at comprehending random coincidence.
It’s all very silly to say that God is playing a game of cat and mouse with us.
Posted by Godless on September 8th, 2008 8:44 pm[...] you’re too young for email, you can always follow God on Twitter! With over 600 followers, Almighty God answers personal [...]
Posted by Topic Agnostic » Blog Archive » God microblogs. From Heaven. On Twitter. on September 19th, 2008 11:14 pm