First-ever dog cloner might also be Mormon missionary sex captor. Wtf?
Christ, I don’t even know where to start. Bernann McKinney, eccentric British lady, gets attacked by dogs 11 years ago. Her pit bull, Booger, saves her life. Incredibly grateful, Bernann beseeches the universe to somehow preserve her valiant pooch, and a generous South Korean biotech firm takes heed and clones her dog. Five puppies are born unto Bernann a couple weeks ago, and in her excitement she somehow goes on Today to show them off. Booger was, of course, “sent by God to save her life”.
Enter the rest of the world, who somehow remember that 30 years ago a 30-years-younger blonde, heavy eyed young immigrant to England named Joyce McKinney (a former Miss Wyoming!) ABDUCTED HER MORMON MISSIONARY BOYFRIEND for 3 days, tied him up, and sexually assaulted the crap out of him. She fled trial and was never seen again; the Mormon missionary’s fate is unknown, at least to me. “She later became the subject of a pulpy book, “Joyce McKinney and the Manacled Mormon,” which included 16 pages of semi-nude modeling she had done for a host of mainly bondage-themed magazines.”
This just goes to show you, if you assail, bond and assault a missionary, he will pray and pray and pray until some stupid pet trick exposes you unto the masses for your eventual and well-deserved stoning. Wtf are the odds, Joyce?